Sunday, May 20, 2012

my heart.

I desire to be a mother. I desire to have biological children and adopted children and foster children. I picture myself in however many years living in a big farmhouse with lots of kids and dogs running around. It's hard for me to not have this dream come to pass. It's hard for me to sit and wait and pray. I am so American, aren't I? I want what I want when I want it, and I want it RIGHT NOW!! I am sure God is just looking down on me, laughing as I write this.

God has put many people in my life, especially as of late, who have some connection to adoption. And as I hear their stories and continue to prepare for this trip, my heart to adopt grows bigger and bigger. The main obstacle for me is financial. And one on hand, I know that God would provide in some miraculous way if I were to start the adoption process now, six months from now, a year from now. All of my Christian friends and spiritual counsel who I have talked to about this agree. That's what faith is about: believing that God will meet you where you're at and provide for your needs. However, my family is on the other end of the spectrum. They know more about my financial situation, and they do not think adopting anytime soon is a good idea at all. I know that I could not do something this huge without their help in some way - whether it's emotional support, financial support, physical support, etc etc. Sigh. The trouble lies in that my friends understand more about my faith and my family understands more about the obstacles that would be in my way.

I am praying that, if God's will is for me to begin this process now, as a single woman who has a job as a medical social worker, that He would change the hearts of my family members. I also pray that He would open whatever doors need to be opened so that together we can make this happen. Would you pray with me?

1 comment:

  1. Lauren, what about becoming a foster mother? Read the Huffington Post article on my FB page, it will blow you away.

    I can't say that it's not super hard, that the system isn't horrible....because both are true. But I felt God put it on my heart and even though many days I want to run away screaming, I have an adorable little baby who needs me and who I trust that God will place in our forever home (We are pre-adoptive foster care which is just slightly different).

    But you could totally do foster care. It would not necessarily be a permanent thing. Some foster kids are adopted, a lot are not. The state pays for all their medical needs and give you a stipend each month for clothes, food and any expenses. You can choose what ages you feel comfortable with too. And foster mother, single or not, are desperately needed. I just wonder if this might be the answer for you. It would take a special calling, I def. felt one. But if you feel the tug, I would encourage you to go for it.