video from the October trip.

My beautiful friend Kaitlyn put together this video from our time in Uganda. I miss those kiddos and that country so much that it brought tears to my eyes! I hope you enjoy watching it!

stuck.

The adoption process should NOT be so difficult. Everyone deserves to be loved, know that they are loved, and have a solid family -- no matter what that family looks like. That needs to be the focus. Forget all of the politics.

In learning more about international adoptions out of Uganda, I am finding that it's not just a hard process, it's nearly impossible. Nearly. It feels like, in beginning this process, you are embarking on a journey full of heartache - no matter what the turnout is in the end. Almost every step is a barrier, an obstacle, a challenge. It's a lonely journey that no one else can understand unless they've been there.

A new documentary was just released called Stuck that details the problems with the adoption system worldwide. There are so many problems on a governmental level in so many countries - ours included. There are so many children waiting for families, and there are so many families waiting for children. It's time for things to change.

Please educate yourselves and check out the documentary here.

jinja on my mind.

I am so sorry that I have been MIA lately! The truth is: I have some HUGE news to share, but it is not yet time to share it - but soon, my friends, soon! There are a few more people who need to hear this news from me before I go public with it. On one hand, there is much happening, but on the other hand, I'm stuck in the waiting phase. It's a very strange feeling to be caught in the middle of these extremes!

I have been thinking about Bridget and Liti a lot lately. I have not heard from them, so I am wondering whether they have even gotten my letters. I pray that God delivered the cards safely into their hands, and that He would somehow remind them of how much I love them and am praying for them. Please keep them in your prayers. I haven't heard a thing about any of the children from Canaan's, and unfortunately, no news is not always good news...

Thankfully, I hear a lot about Sam! Damalie is pretty great about sending updates by email, and I so look forward to them! Sam turned one in December and started walking soon after that - apparently he is waddling all over the place! A team from Voices for the Voiceless just returned from Jinja where they spent time at Sangaalo as well as some other children's homes, and you can bet that I followed their blog religiously to hear some (any!) news! Sam was sick while they were there but luckily they had a doctor on their team, so he was able to give some sound advice about what to do to ensure a quick recovery. I had to laugh, though, when I read that Sam was still so active and had a big appetite even as sick as he was - that's my boy!! Here is a relatively new picture of him -- don't you want to just kiss those cheeks??

other journeys to jinja (and beyond!)

One of my teammates just up and moved her husband and their four kids to Uganda. They are living on the compound of Ekubo Ministries in a house adjacent to the one that Christie and George (and their 17 children!) live in. And there, they are in the most wonderful of communities, serving and loving the villagers for the next three months.

One of my dear friends is on a flight to a town near Ekubo, and she will be there on a medical mission for the next two weeks. While she's there, she will also be contacting other ministries to work with when she moves there in May.

Another teammate is visiting Nashville this weekend to undergo leadership training with Visiting Orphans, as she will be co-leading a mission in June.

Another friend continues to work hard for her nonprofit, Hope Grafted In, which liaison with organizations in Uganda to help with their child sponsorship programs (Sangaalo included!) She is also in the midst of a journey to adopt a sweet 4-year-old girl.

All of these people (and more) are on my heart this evening, in addition to all of the children and families they will meet and minister to during their time there. Please join me in prayer for these sweet and selfless friends!

the conversation.

I have been praying about The Conversation over the past few months. I've also been worrying about it. And dreading it. So I put it off and planned to have this talk sometime in the future. Some undetermined time in the future, that is.

As time passed, I've felt little prompts from the Holy Spirit that the time was coming for me to have this talk. I brushed these feelings aside and continued to hang on to my anxiety about it all. And then tonight, I think God gave me a little push because I couldn't ignore His prompt anymore.

And you know what? The Conversation went so much better than I could have ever imagined. I'd spent all this time worrying and praying, rather than praying and trusting that He would take care of it. He covered The Conversation with His grace and peace, and He gave me the words to say.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest, and I am absolutely joyous about the communication that occurred. I am praising God tonight, friends! And with one step at a time, we move forward...!

i refuse.

"I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God...
So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are...
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse
To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse
To stand and watch the weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back
And try and act like all is well...
I refuse to stay unchanged
To wait another day, to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse."

-- Josh Wilson

just a whisper.

I will pray without ceasing for these unspoken requests. For the second time in my life, I can truly say that I am doing just that. There is not a minute that goes by without the Holy Spirit putting words to the multitude of feelings that are heavy in my heart. I am praying for direction, for an answer, for some kind of modern day miracle, for a word that it will be okay.

And He whispers: "Trust."
And He reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11.

And though they aren't the words I was hoping for, they are more than enough. At the whisper of His voice, He brings peace to a worried soul and a mind full of questions.

My strength is renewed, and I continue on with the waiting.